I was about 14 or 15 the first time I started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. I started thinking it was just something fun to do with my friends. When my parents found out they yelled at me and grounded me but I didn’t care too much and that did not stop me from using and drinking. Looking back I think I was genetically predisposed to addiction and addict behavior was normalized for me so I am not sure my parent’s could have stopped me when they found out. A question I get asked even now is how can I prevent my child from becoming an addict and I do not have a good answer for that question. I also think some of my childhood traumas pushed me in the wrong direction. 

I continued using and drinking through my late teens, early twenties and then towards the end of my 20’s I noticed I was drinking a lot and I might have an issue. The problem was my disease was lying to me so I easily dismissed my addiction by comparing myself to others who I perceived as “worse” than me. I also justified my using and drinking by saying to myself that I am an adult and I deserve to relax after work. 

When I started dating Coco there were many times I tried to stop. I would successfully do it for a few days and sometimes even a week but I always went back to it. She was the first person I had been exposed to that had never had addiction normalized for her. I actually thought she was weird because her family, friends and her weren’t always drinking or using. There were quite a few times after we were married that she tried to speak to me about how I was out of control but I didn’t listen. She was the only person in my life who had ever approached me about having a problem and a lot of times I would gaslight her and tell her she had the problem. I started hiding my use and drinking from her and lying to her because it was easier than admitting the truth. At times when I tried to stop I would have anxiety because I realized that meant going without my alcohol and substances which was terrifying. My addict brain had me convinced I needed these substances to function and live. I unfortunately never saw how much I was hurting her and our family until I got clean and sober with a clear head. 

Fast forward to today I am thankful for her coming into my life. She held me accountable and had me hit my “rock bottom” which was a turning point for me. I’m thankful I am sober now for so many reasons. I feel better, I am still married to the woman I love, I still have my family, my life has changed for the better and I never thought it would be this good. Getting sober has increased my self-esteem and made me a better person. 

If you’re a fellow addict like I am and you are still suffering please know there is help out there for you. Putting in work and wanting it is all you need to do and a sober life is so much better. You’re not a bad person, you have a disease which has no cure but if you put in work and don’t use, there is a better life for you.

• Turbo

We think an appropriate place to start is where we are now. Looking back it is amazing we made it “here” because there were a lot of times both of us wanted to give up. We were often told addiction is a family disease but I do not think either of us understood what that meant. Everyone close to a person in active addiction suffers and everyone also needs to heal from the addiction. 

Today, things are not perfect but they are better than either of us thought possible. There is life after addiction, there is even a stronger relationship after addiction, and for us there is so much love and happiness. We hope anyone reading this blog can find their own personal path to recovery. We also hope to educate people about addiction/recovery from the view of a couple who has lived the journey. 

If you are an addict we want our story to give you hope, motivation, encouragement, and the realization that there is a better life out there for you. If you are someone who loves an addict we want our story to give you hope and insight into a relationship beyond active addiction. Sometimes we will post together and other times only one of us will post. If there are topics you would like us to cover please use the “contact us” form to tell us. 

This blog will walk you through the various parts of our story and journey of addiction and recovery. There is life after addiction and if you are suffering please reach out to a medical professional or loved one. People care about you and there is so much support and help if you’re willing to reach out.  

Please use the “contact us” form to reach out to us. We would love to hear your story, or answer any questions you might have about our blog. Please remember we are NOT medical professionals or therapists and NEVER claim to be professionals. We are simply a husband and wife who have dealt with active addiction and now recovery and want to share our story. 

Expect a new blog post on the first and third Monday of each month. If we ever miss our schedule a bit of grace would be appreciated, we have a busy life! Welcome to our blog and we hope to see you come back!